ne plus ultra

Over 44 months ago was the official breaking in of the fucktoy and there isn't a day that goes by that i don't return to the sound of the rattan whirling through the air and burying itself into my soft skin. i think about the months i carried welts and the pretty shades of purple and black my pussy lips and inner thighs turned and about the deep tissue bruising of my breasts. It contained the most extreme, most intense, and single most terrifying & degrading moment in my life so far-- and as such, it deserves a reprise.

February 2006

i feared the cane as soon as i saw it.
And i hear it before i feel it. It whirls through the air behind me then smack! It smarts. It really fucking smarts. i wonder how much of this i am going to be able to take. i come to the primitive conclusion: not too much. His cane is harsher than His crop.
The crop that i love.
loved.
i still do.
but now, it has to share the space.

It doesn't take too many welts to render me useless. It is not comfortable- it never will be. i fight it. Try to hide my ass from restraints holding me open. No, it doesn't work. i could have probably wrestled my hands out of the cuffs but i didn't think of it at the time. i was too busy listening to Him, His comments, and the buzz of subspace.

He lands a couple really rough, harsh lengths of the cane- one's that didn't have landing shadows prior to them being administered-and i thrash. It is a completely normal reaction. It smarts like hell. Not only is my breath taken away, i can feel the hair on my skin becoming damp. i am trembling, shaking, hot, a crescendo of a wave filling my ears. i hear nothing but the sound of the whirl, the landing of the smack, the sound of my own groans and breaths.

i feel helpless.
As if i should want this more because i thought i did.
But i don't like this cane.
Not at all.
i hate it.
i am implicitly begging for the crop or His hand.

i feel his body against my ass. His fingers tracing the delicate smooth skin on my cunt.
Tracing a welt here and there.
Fondling me.
Taunting me with His words. i squirm. melt.
Touching my wetness. my desire.
Preparing where on my ass to land His cane next.

He encourages me. Informs me why select welts are just that. My lessons. And punishment. Our pleasure. i remember the select welts- the ones with the introductions. A few that crashed harder than i ever thought i could ever withstand. i remember, i do. i really do. i look in the mirror and am mesmerized. How could they ever not be there?

i don't know.

But i also knew that part of this caning was being observed. By the Innkeeper. i cannot see him or anything that is going on. i just know it is there, because He said it would be. It's not exactly what i would have wanted but I have completely surrendered, therefore, it is all about my Owner and nothing to do with me.

At some point, the homemade flogger that i made with my own two bare hands is applied on top of the welts. It is comforting, a much needed break. i am able to rest, high on the endorphins the welts have released, the crazy haze of desire with hands in my cunt, my ass against His hard body and i've become a fallen slut absolutely helpless and completely hopeless. i can hear Him speaking to me and i respond but cannot remember details. It's fuzzy.

Burning.
Yearning.
Tearing and throbbing.
Wanting and Needing.
Craving and with desire.

i can remember the many times hands encircled my blazing hot welted ass, tenderized like sirloin burgers, and the comfort that at any time, i could bow out gracefully. It never occurred to me (until the damn flogger). This suffering, this gifting of pleasure and abdication of power is how i excel.

Take it. I am Yours. Do what You want with me.
That's my girl.

i am asked to choose between my former beloved torture device and the new torture device. my stomach does circles. How am i supposed to make this decision? i don't want to and am redirected several times. i chose what i thought He wanted: the cane.

The last few are interrupted by the damn flogger. i wish i never made the damn thing. Or i wish i had made it differently. i do not think, no matter how much you cut down industrial rubber, garage door sealers are not light-weight enough to be used for a flogger. Unfortunately, my lack of insight beat my cunt to a pulp.

In essence, i beat myself.
With a device from my own hands.
Made for hurting me.
With the sole purpose to beat me.
To please my owner.
Render me powerless
crying.

my cunt is beat from behind and i cannot handle much of this. i try to move, thrashing away and am demanded to hand my ass over and over and over- to correct my posture, repeated: hand over my ass and i just can't.

i do it anyway. But i feel i can't.
i want to.
but i can't. it hurts. it's too hard. i can't.
and i do.

and it is awful. the worst. i want out. get me down. have some pity. stop!
i can't-i can't-i can't...
i can't do it! i become sad.
i become sad and start to cry.
a mixture. a mixture of pain and fear- that i had let myself fall into a darker place than i've ever known before, a place where the pain subsided and it was pure will and inner strength- to get through it, for Him. Pure depth that i had no idea existed or that i had.

to get through this brutal flogging of my cunt.
When i just couldn't and i did.


This video is before the 2 Ownership tattoos were placed in 2/06.

This was the official piss-slut training as well:

In the shower, i kneel there.
Secretly, i am scared.
Tentative.
refusing...

my need to submit & comply over whelming me,
my Owner's cock softly against my lips-
guiding into my mouth
and i wait...

i am thinking of why?
why i am doing this-
why i want this,
worrying about how it will be
what may happen to me?

Supporting my core against the stall
and not knowing what to do,
my knees shaking and trembling
i am guided and comforted
a mind all ready accepting.

i taste it. Pee.
Quick.
Try to forget.
Swallow.
Over and over and again and again.
just drink.

i wait. and swallow. i accept.
give in.
submit.
push away the taste.
forget the bitterness, the acidity.

the burn of His piss in my mouth
against my throat, like a fire
wanting to stop
and giving in-
pushed deeper than i thought
i just swallow.

i gag. i cough. a little.
i drink.
try to forget-
Then it is over.
Activation of a piss-slut: complete.

i will do it again, He says-
i can never say no
because i've done it once
when i didn't think i could
i will do it again.

The aftermath of ne plus ultra, the S & M session that had me sobbing, bleeding, marked for 2 months and begging for more:

It hurts to sit in my car.
It hurts to sit on the couch.
It hurts to sit on the floor.
It hurts to kneel on the floor.
It hurts to squat too.
Going pee is torture.
Putting on pants is painful. So is taking off a skirt.
There's a few stray marks on my hips, where the waist band sits, that will be repositioned until welts subside.
You don't remember you close the front door with your ass until it hurts.
It hurts to sit here at my computer, but i forget it a little more when i'm remembering it.
i'm not moving as swiftly either. I skipped the gym today.
Giving myself a day to recover.

To know that my ass has been caned, both for my wrongdoings and pure sadistic pleasure, and why does this torturous secret below my clothing, which will be comfort-based over the healing period, fill me with a massive gripping type of fulfillment? Proud to be wearing them, my Owner's territorial markings, His sadistic pleasure, my enjoyment too.
it throbs.
i like it.
And i bow my head in absolutely alluring & pure gratitude, offer an abundance of continued appreciation and maintain as i was, as it's been determined i shall maintain- indefinitely.

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And 44 months later, dozens of S & M sessions and whippings of varying degree, i still go back to this pinnacle moment of recognizing myself in the world of submission.

It's a beautiful moment of self-awareness and humbled gratitude for having an Owner who has re-introduced me to myself.

cunt's training session (with permission)

Although neither my Owner or i were present during cunt's weekend festivities, she's dear to the two of us and by her & her Master's permission, she has offered to share her BDSM packed weekend here on this blog.

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On Thursday, cunt's Trainer stalked her. He texted her with numerous time-limited tasks to keep her focused on her purpose and put her in her submissive head space. She chose to staple her breast over hanging a stapler from her nipple rings for an hour; she had to put several tacks on her bra and wear them around her office; and she had to put paper clamps on her nipples while driving home for an hour. Her poor nipple looked like this afterwards:


And then her Trainer had her pack everything but the kitchen sink... ginger, double dildo, flogger, a tree branch, 3 sets of heels, 3 disgusting things to shove up her ass, 10 paper clamps different sizes, cuffs, collar, tack bra, tolerance for extreme pain, knowledge of her place and the confidence that her Trainer didn't hate her while he was being totally abused and degraded. She was ordered to keep her eyes cast down and to preserve a good attitude while maintaining her loylaty no matter what happens or who is there. He told her she would be punished severely if she failed him...

(in her own words)

i failed him 2 days before - Thursday you remember i was at service during an all day of tasks. Friday i was supposed to wear the tack bra all day. I didn't. He said it was unnaceptable. That i would have to pay somehow for it.


After getting batteries for his dog shocker & condoms for Trainer, i arrived there with a corset and gagged with a carrot, a cucumber, ginger and another kind of giant long cucumber (english cucumber) i had to lay everything on a table. He got the ginger and started working on it right away and changing batteries on the shocker.

The first thing he wanted to do was to shove the ginger up my ass. Done. Second thing, for me to put the tack bra and hug him tight with it. He lay me on the floor and laid on top of me so the tacks were going into my flesh deep. He was really pleased with the work my Master had done with the bra.


He then sat me on him to get a good fuck and to orgasm, which is not hard for me to do, with the ginger in my ass. Then he put a leash on me, gave me another leash and another gag ball and told me to go upstairs and get the other slut upstairs, to leave my heels on top of the stairs so i would not make clink sounds walking around upstairs. Get her and bring downstairs 2 glasses for wine. On my way up, i was slapped really hard on every step by his hand... love that. :-)

Downstairs again, he stated the rules, no eye contact, maintain our submissive demeanor and let the games begin. HIS games. He served us some wine, and told us to make out. She did not know i had a ginger up my ass and she did not know that my bra had tacks, and she started squeezing my tits with her hands, until she reached inside between kisses and her eyes widened and she started apologizing. He snapped and we both shut up immediately.

We started with a game of stones and paper clamps so that the more clamps we got all over our bodies would entitle us to not being punished. First round, we both got the same amount of clamps - the second one, she out did me by almost 5 and i got the 5 slashes with the tree branch / stick and man, that thing burns like hell!! With every lash, pieces of it would fly out. She gave those to me and he advised her that if it was not to his satisfaction, the harshness of the beat, she would get paddled with the wooden paddle which all of us hate . It is extreme pain and he is not very nice when delievering those.

He was pleased. We started a game of Sorry! with cards, but using a deal or no deal approach. Each of us had cards that went 1, 5, 7, 8, 10, 11 or 12 and a sorry card that we could pass it along to the other one for punishment. We each could choose only 4 cards and an extra one that was like the suitcase.

We each turned our first card, and i got a high card and she got a low card. He offered her sitting on tacks for 12 minutes and wearing the tack bra, and for me he offered me 11 cane slashes. Neither one of us took this deal. During the second one, and believe, me a lot of punishment came our way. i got 5 cane strikes, 10 wooden paddle whacks, which he took me to a different room to deliever them so he could really paddle me and not worry his slave and while this was going on, she was walking up and down the stairs with chains on her pussy rings and with the tack bra on.


Then he turned her around and fucked her standing with the weights (the way i wanted- you know the way that feels) and with the tack bra, made me suck him right there and went again on fucking her. It was a lot of fun, when i finally took the ginger out of my ass, it had blood and he actually put a piece of it in her too, and she started feeling dizzy and had to remove the fire ball out of her asshole with blood as well. Not sure why we both had a bleeding problem with that. It was well rounded and it was not hurting like poking. But something in it is strong enough to make us bleed. She had hers for about 20 minutes - i think i had mine in for 1 hour or so and actually it burned all the time, not unberable, but it was such a relief to take it off.

i had to shove stuff up my asshole and she had to fuck me with a dildo up my ass and also with the vegetables, while he was laughing of how low i can go.... degraded me to the extreme. He fucked her a lot and came while we were both slapping each others tits. She was dismissed as he had promised he would allow me to lay my head on his lap for a while after it was over for aftercare. i massaged his feet and we talked.

i was ready to take SO MUCH more during the moment but still have a sore butt from the paddle smacks that i can barely sit. Ouch. Silly smile on my face. Flying.

Can't wait for the next one-one REAL hard at his meanest.

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Delicious! It sounds like you had fun fun fun! Can't wait to hear about Trainer at his "meanest!" Thank you for sharing, cunt!
xoxx

guest post

Although i was called to service my Owner this week, circumstances in my life ruled that i couldn't. The time is not far away, however, that DL will be able to touch the new tattoo across my back binding me further to Him and inflict pent up sadism all over His property. Soon, i will be posting a scene that our girlfriend cunt had with her Trainer (who is not her husband but rather a sadist she sees on occasion). Since i have seen him beat the hell out of her and push her to tears, i know he exists and is the cruelest Dom i have ever met or heard of. Her humiliation and pain sensation began on Thursday and came to a conclusion last night... and as it happened, i have invited her here to tell her story. It should be good and it's coming up soon.

Used by Others: drawing a crowd

It was just after midnight when cunt's Master attached the leash to my collar and gave his slave the handle to lead me around the club. She showed me each room and its devices; and i saw some light play going on, a few couples and men watching others partake in D/s bliss but the club wasn't packed or full like i had imagined. The scene of the harsh usage would begin in a setting very much like a warehouse. He slid on the blindfold, attached suspension cuffs and locked me into place to hooks attached to pipes dangling from the ceiling. From that point on and for what seemed like an incessantly long time, cunt's Master began beating my backside with device after device after device.

i could distinguish between the heavy, thick wooden paddle that had me call out in shock of the weighty force and terrible sting to it; and the simple leather paddle that he could wind up and beat the shit out of me... and i'd beg for more. i remember the cane (i broke it!) and it's rapidly landing stings and how i danced in place, gasped in surprise at how two little soft-soft-strikes from a paddle were oh-so-delicious but a single cane welt would have me yelping... and then, somewhere amidst heavy paddle strikes and a blur of strap, flogger, cane, and leather paddle welts... i floated off into subspace...

...a place where there are no limits, nothing that happens matters, everything is light and fuzzy and it's an intoxicating bliss that carries you away...

And from time to time, as i heard light shuffling through the rush of blood in my temples and the steady beat of ambient music overhead, i swayed back and forth, from side to side, as her Master checked in on my hanging extremities and paid his bitch some attention. She later told me that he had her up on a bench spread wide for the people watching and caned her pierced tits dead on. We grimaced together as we recounted it, later on, and she told me what she saw and i felt against my skin.

This is what part one looked like:


And you cannot tell from a photo but the skin was so swollen that it felt as hard as a rock, like sitting on a piece of wood.

Soon after, cunt's Master released my hands and we all went outside to cool off. The intensity of the beating, as it was very intense. Quick, well-placed strikes, and at least 300 of them (if not double that) made cunt's Master break a sweat... and i was in a fog and had a light cold sweat across my back as i followed them, in a subspace daze, into the humid after midnight air. We had been in the club for almost two hours.

i was then taken into a wooden room and placed facing away from a mirror and out into the room at the crowd of people watching between the two ongoing scenes. This time i could see everything and hear a girl being tickle-tortured about fifteen feet away. i was ordered to grab a set of hooks above me and to use personal restraint for balance and control of my limbs. i could see cunt sitting on the floor and watching her Master beat the living daylights out of my breasts.


He slapped them, and knuckled them, swat them up and then swat them down before taking a paddle and leaving immediate purple and red bruises all over my breasts. It was so intense that i forgot to watch the other couple and i was loving it... every once in awhile forgetting to leave a hand on a hook for balance and calling out when the pain had me in its grasp... i was loving it! And it was just the perfect combination of amazing pain and flying endorphins... i didn't cum... but my body was raked with shivers and feelings of warmth- almost as though my Owner was there and watching.


At last call, my body marked and sparking a hot red rash from all of the intensity of the evening, cunt's Master propped me on a bench and gave me a few last gigantic and forceful paddles from the heavy wooden paddle. The thing makes your skin is going to burst or that you're bleeding... but i thanked him anyway and so did a couple of the spectators who thanked cunt's Master for the good scene who had watched the moments of brutality... taken by a beast of burden laughing and grimacing from one moment to the next, but always finding her place, following her Owner's trail, and doing her best to please Him... even though it was another holding the beating device. It was damn fucking GOOD!

Another thank you to cunt's Master for hurting me & taking me to my first BDSM club; and another, albeit belated, thank you to my Owner for allowing such exposure and dramatic and intense usage to occur. It was phenomenal! i cannot wait to go back... or someplace similar with my Owner too.

Fun Fun! Life is full of new experiences and fun if you want it!
(even though i couldn't sit quite right for about a week, maybe more, and still, nearly 6 weeks later, still have lexan welts from the last beating my Owner left upon my behind...)

Anybody else ever been to a BDSM club? Were you a spectator or did you draw a crowd? We're always interested in others' stories. Or point us in the direction of where you may have written about your experiences.

checking in

It has been a couple weeks since the last post and it has been a busy couple of weeks. The continuation of being used by others will be posted very soon. So is anyone still here? My Owner will be using me soon as well :-) i have butterflies in my tummy.

Used by Others: the beginning

As you may or may not recall, after the strip club and the night that followed, i was to be lent out to cunt and her Master to service them for one 24 hour time period. My Owner had authorized cunt and her Master to bring me to a BDSM club for public humiliation and whipping and had even offered me to whip others, given the opportunity!

During the first time slot of the 24 hour time period, cunt was ordered to begin sucking her Master as i sat at the bylines and watched. She then was told to begin masturbating with a very large vibrating dildo and to stick it in as i took over blow job service. During this time, cunt's Master was watching her masturbate and finally draped me over the side of a chair, put a condom on, and screwed the daylights out of me as cunt masturbated and came over and over; and then, her Master had her stand beside him as he fingered her and continued to fuck me.

The second wave came as cunt's Master later began finger fucking me and really pushing that "feel good" button that makes almost every slut squirt... even me a little (blush) and he had his hands in me for a long time with hopes of fisting me... but i couldn't take it! And i wimped out on this and he fucked me to completion as i played with cunt's beautiful body.

Shortly thereafter, it was nap time before the BDSM club and cunt and i were jumping around in a cold, cold shower all excited and acting like two little horny cunts just waiting for punishment. But only one of us knew what might happen and the other was the one who was going to take the brunt of the other's beating.

In a moment of silence, the photo above represents the submission observation period in order to align myself with my Owner from a distance, to put trust in the hands of cunt's Master (whom i trust with no issues at all), and to be the very best i could given the first experience in a public setting. i knelt there quietly putting my right mind space on and anxiously awaiting what the rest of the night might bring.

Up Next: drawing a crowd

[no videos have been approved thus far for posting and from various emails i am receiving, no one is missing anything. My Owner will approve or prohibit when He is able to. Thank you for understanding]

punishment with a cucumber

i am being punished for falling asleep before taking my Owner's VERY IMPORTANT call and for being asleep while i was being summoned to take a VERY IMPORTANT call. This punishment had me in tears and was as embarrassing as it was extremely painful. It has left a physical rip-lingering reminder and a mental imprint in that i will never again look at a cucumber the same way and my asshole is totally wrecked.

DL: You will make a placard saying "sleepy cunt" on it, pin it on a cucumber and then impale your ass with that cucumber. You will then document it and I will see, approve, and you will then post!

-embarrassingly posted by,

punished "sleepy cunt"

where it is and all the fun we have

The SLRN barcode begins at the end of my neck- at the top of my spine just below the collar line for most shirts. The exact location (because i'm a geek) is across the C7 vertebrae. We chose this location together for the most part, though, my Owner did have final say once the outline was put on.


Soon after it was completed, with glossy eyes and a high almost-but-not-quite like the high after a solid beating into subspace, my Owner took me back to our comfy place and down came His zipper, off came His pants, and words became secondary to the conversations we have with my mouth wrapped around His cock.

It wasn't long before i was flat on my back with my legs spread in the air and fucked deep and hard. We were both smiling and every once in awhile, i was ordered to open my mouth to collect His spit. i like it. i like all of Him. Nothing grosses me out *thinks hard about morning piss* i want all of what He is willing to offer me in and on me.

Sometimes it's a mouthful of cum, sometimes some spit; sometimes it's piss and other times it's an overflowing sip of wine. In any case, i'm a glutton to want all of the waste products He offers inside of me.

He fucked me and i came; He fucked me even harder and i came again and then He did. Shortly there after, we met up with cunt and her Master and went to dinner and then to a decent strip club. The music was loud and just right and the girls were mostly all lovely and very sexy.

i have the unfortunate gene that makes me not very sexy and in fact, i'm quite clumsy really. A majority of my annoying attributes is that i'm action-oriented and when i'm told to do something, my brain processes it to do it quickly, efficiently; not slow and seductively.

i learned just how seductive slow and sensuous looks during a lap dance that cunt received from a gorgeous dancer. Damn! That was so fucking HOT i was a little wet beneath my dress with my legs crossed and eyeing, selfishly, my Owner's crotch. But we were both watching it until it ended and cunt's Master also enjoyed a sensual dance from her. She was a lovely, sensual and provocative woman. Sexy as hell, too.

As the night wore on, my Owner had His eye on a particular dancer whom cunt tracked down and He, too, enjoyed a slow and sensual lap dance from her. She had lovely breasts and was very sensual. i am glad that she pleased my Owner in ways a clumsy slut cannot.

And then, after being all worked up and drinking a little, cunt started grinding her sexy self with the music and enjoyed yet another lap dance as did her Master (i think- i may have forgotten who enjoyed the second dance). Then we decided it was time to leave and get the after-hours party started.

Some of the best conversation that my Owner and i had took place during the time space it took to get from the strip club to cunt's home and i shall never forget the glowing embers in my heart and soul that remain smoldering and indebted and so, so thankful & grateful & sincerely honored to belong to Him with my entire mind, body, and spirit. These were some truly sparkling and priceless moments with simply unforgettable words between the two of us.

At cunt and her Master's home, all of a sudden, as we were recounting the moments from the strip club that were hot, hot hot and i was sucking my Owner and cunt was getting her pussy fucked by her Master as she bent over the chair. Somewhere in between being fucked myself and sucking and watching, my Owner and i decided that we were both exhausted and should probably head back to our sleeping arrangements for a few hours of sleep before a hectic new day. Although there was no trading of the sluts at this time, the details were put in place and solidified between my Owner and cunt's Master for how He could use me for a 24-hour period.

Yes, i was allowed to go to be publicly beat at a BDSM club; yes, i could be used in any way whatsoever except anally. That was the only limit; no fucking my ass. i was permitted to whip others at the club if asked with very few limits and it was permitted if cunt was to whip me as well. Other than that, it was open season for me to be lent to cunt and her Master.

The first time i would be used sexually and masochistically without my Owner present. i also trust them both tremendously so it was destined to be fun and less worrisome than if it was to strangers... which i cannot totally discount based on threats and hinted plans for the future of giving me away to others my Owner has darkly whispered in my ear randomly.

Let the record reflect that prior to the being given away to cunt and her Master, this is what my body looked like from my Owner's brutal Sunday beating:

2 photos of the morning after:

You can see the outline of the tawse
on the photo above


4 photos of 3 days after the beating

my left side


my right side

It looks worse than it felt at this point, really.
It was just itchy!!

9.3.09

On Thursday September 3, 2009, i received a second indelible
marking chosen by my Owner.
This was not a branding, as many surmised it might be,
but instead, a unique barcode from
The Slave Register:

The barcode is now nearly 2 weeks old and almost completely healed.
Between the barcode and the first Ownership tattoo,
i am now doubly marked as Darklord's fucktoy slut property

in a very unique and intricately special way.

i am as thankful, honored, and revered as one could possibly be...

Isn't it hot!?
And aren't i lucky?!

in another world

This is the story (without videos, yet) of how
my ass became to look like this:

It was a week ago today that the mark my Owner had expressed was going to be placed on me was put on; before that, as i knelt between His legs worshiping His cock, He first announced it. For a moment, i thought it was just a statement to gauge my reaction- but i didn't react and only responded as a slave should, "yes, Sir." As time went on, three things became clear: One, the marking was not 'just a statement and it was going to be placed on me'; Two, i was completely okay (if not excited!) by this; and Three, we have another world in which we are some of its exclusive visitors.

It's a bit of a fog now a few weeks after our weekend together but i can still recall the sting of the wine being dumped down my throat and the resulting burn of it soaking into my stomach lining and the final head space of feeling light, spacey, desperate to please, and so fucking happy. And so it goes, the tawse whipped across my ass and back through each time i sucked Him and each time i would pant and cry out and my head would be held down to where the gag reflex squeezes against the head of His rock hard cock. i have learned how to mostly suppress this reflex to be of best usage.

Orgasms were fucked out of me- one after another- and then i put on the tack bra for inspection. Here's how the breast sees the particular model i constructed:

You would think the tacks would impale the soft tissue of breast tissue but on the contrary, it's irritating but there is no direct impaling or blood. That's not to say that if the bra was to be mashed into the breast there would be no impaling... but it was brought to my attention that i must make the tacks immovable by more than just glue; for what purpose? i do not know and i did not ask. i have my Owner's advice tucked in my mind and will fix it to match His specifications for usage at another time.

As we were spooning and in that other world of ours in the dark, His hands began squeezing my nipples and twisting the nipple rings with intention to inflict serious pain to my little pink tips at the same time His teeth were digging into my back and biting down. The combination was a delicious cocktail that had me whimpering and squirming in bed against Him and i felt truly very submissive at the moment. i never wanted it to end... His warm hands against my flesh even if hurting with His mouth buried into my back even if biting down... fucking hot.

Well rested for the following day, i served Him as i was pulled down into service; we had candid and meaningful conversations; more orgasms were fucked out of me; and we enjoyed a movie together when plans to meet cunt and her Master for the evening fell through until later in the week. After that, well... my face became buried into His shorts on the side of the bed as He casually stated that He was going to start giving me away more to other men, maybe a group of men, maybe more than that.

Panic.

"Yes, Sir." i fully trust His judgment and have no other choice but to obey and make Him proud to own me despite some temporary flaws.

"Good, you fucking slut."

Then i was beat. Hard. Beat by the tawse until i was clawing at the sheets and crying into His shorts; beat until i was sure my skin was going to burst with a blood blister; beat until i went into subspace. And at the moment i resolved that it was just pain and i loved it, He began caning me with the lexan which brought me out of subspace and into unprepared mode and boy, did i react. He held me down with His foot and rapidly caned me until i couldn't hold my position and then began tawsing me repeatedly- over and over and over...



i went back into subspace... and was torn out of it when the shocking weight of the heavy tire paddle slammed across my lower back on each side a couple of times and struggled against this. Although i was blindfolded, i believe that my Owner also used the leather shoehorn, which was absolutely beautiful at this time as i was so flying on endorphins and in another world of submission and being a good paintoy after reacting so poorly with the shock of each new implement. Would it have been better if i knew what to expect? i don't know that either.


Finally, with the last hoorah of the evening's cycle, the tawse returned with a fury and i was face down in His shorts breathing in this love for the way i was feeling and on top of where the tawse slammed against my hips and thighs, the lexan landed hard- hard enough to leave blood welts immediately. After that, the living daylights were fucked out of me as i was floating in space and glowing from the outside in as every sore spot was pushed against the sheets and mashed in to exacerbate the pain just a little more. It almost felt like i was elevated into the air... and afterwards, i stuck a finger into my fucked pussy and licked His cum from me; the mixed sex juices a beautiful signature after an intense beating- the most intense in a long time. i absolutely LOVED it!!


i curled up sweetly with adoration against His back for the whole night on my most sore side, pressed my face into His neck, and slept deeply until the morning rush for both of us. We knew there would be more to come on Thursday- one week ago- the placement of the new marking, a strip club, and another meeting with cunt and her Master. i was informed at this time that i would serve them in whatever way they chose after this for one 24 hour period which included a trip to a BDSM club. At that point, nothing but my Owner's happiness and satisfaction mattered and it was my objective to ensure that His marking would be of quality and safety and that the strip club i was responsible for finding would be pleasing and not a dive, and of course, that i would do Him proud as a slave to a couple to whom are very special to the both of us.

This is what the damage looks like the next morning:

**While i know it may not be everyone's preferences for such infliction of pain and humility, for my Owner and i and some others out there, when i say that we exist in another world, i am sure there are many others who know exactly what i'm referring to. It's absolutely amazing... and there's almost nothing better than connecting with someone at that state of arousal and trust.

decisions, decisions

Honestly, i am completely stuck with how to begin posting about the amazing past 10 days in my life. There are too many options to choose from and i'm having difficulty picking where to start.

i could start with the special weekend my Owner and i shared together when He announced that i would be marked again with another property symbol;

or

i could start with a sob story of my personal conflicts and how they invaded some of the time we shared;

or

i could start off with a bang and detail a major slut beating in graphic words and images and once approved by DL, video footage;

or

i could detail the second time i met my Owner in a week and the new Ownership marking that is 100% unique and very special;

or

i could begin with a jaunt to a strip club full of sexy women and another encounter with cunt and her Master and my Owner and i in the same room;

or

i could tell the story about the very first time i was given away to others without my Owner present for a 24 hour period and used as a sex slave;

or

i could start with what happened in the dungeons with tales from the vault (and the bodily impact) it had on me from the BDSM club;

or

i could write a beautiful sonata for the pride and euphoric elation i feel for belonging to my Owner.


You see? There are just too many options here and i can't make a decision.

So i need input.

Where should i start?

Until a decision is made, i'll be right here kneeling with my ass on offer and face buried into my Owner's shorts that carried the scent of a man; but not just any man, my Owner- my personal brand of heroin. (Yes, that's from Twilight)

update from a given away toy

Waiting... and yes. There is still so much to show and tell from last weekend and this entire week. As much as anyone is waiting to hear about the sadomasochism activities (of which, there was plenty); beautiful women bumping and grinding against us in such provocative ways that just recounting it makes me squishy; and, of course, the priceless new beautiful Ownership marking i wear with such devotion and honor... but i have been rented out to cunt and her Master for tonight where there are plans to not only use me to their desires; but to de-virginize me from going to a BDSM club. *so excited!!*

And i'm still glowing because i belong to a Wonderful Owner :-) *dreamy sigh*

It is the first time i have been given away to anyone without my Owner present but i am lucky that it is with cunt and her Master. All other inquiries need to go through my Owner for His discretion.

It will be just a little bit longer before this page is over-populated with stories and photos and yes... videos. The wait for details and graphic images will soon be over.

i was banned from the blog... and then abused

There has not been a new post for about a week because my Owner banned me from the blog and all blogs in general for no reason other than He wanted to. And when i read that i had been banned, my world spun, my pussy swelled with warmth, and the lash of the proverbial whip hit me with such force that it sent a mental orgasm from the bottom of my spine down to my toes. It's my Owner's delicious control factor that both shocks me and knocks me out of my world and into His with great intensity.

We had a fantastic weekend together that will provide much video stimulation. i am bruised and welted so that i bled, any my soul is as filled with happiness and pride for belonging to Him as it ever was-- maybe more!!

Before the videos and photos of my abuse populate this first page, i wanted to write in with news about a very special new marking that my Owner will be placing on me tomorrow and another get together with my sub-sister cunt and her Master. We will be going to a hot strip club with a few drinks in our system and together, side by side, will serve our Sirs and make new memories together and for our Sirs.

cunt and i are very excited about the possibilities of what may come from two Dominant men wound up by beautiful naked women and exotic lap dances and she and i both have the submissive souls to slave for our Owners for whatever they desire. It should be another day and night to remember in September!!!

the orgy

Kay and cunt showing off their hot stuff
The night started off with me scurrying upstairs to adorn my collar and cuffs and to hide my voluptuosness within the confines of the lovely corset. Downstairs, my Owner and cunt's Master were putting together a cross and a spanking bench; and on the main floor, Kay and her husband were on the sofa making out and grinding against one another; horny.

Down on my hands and knees, i crawled to my Owner's lap and rested it there for him to press into his crotch as Kay was half naked and giving cunt's master head. It wasn't long after that that my mouth was filled with my Owner and sucking as cunt delivered wine to all parties. Then Kay's mouth was on my Owner and mine was on cunt's Master and cunt was being fucked by Kay's husband. She's so loud everyone can hear her! It's a turn on.

My mouth was back on my Owner and Kay was being fucked by cunt's Master and then i was propped up on the lawn chair and fucked hard as my Owner played with Kay's big beautiful breasts and cunt and i kissed.... and this cycled around as my Owner had my mouth on Kay's husband's cock as she was beneath me with an amazing effect and then she was being fucked by my Owner and cunt was being fucked by Kay's husband and my mouth was back on my Owner to clean up the mess and fluff him back up.

From time to time, i remember stealing glances here and there and of listening, very earnestly, for my next cue to come and suck or to lay down and spread-- just listening for my Owner's voice in the mix of cunt having the daylights fucked out of her cunt and screaming in ecstasy and Kay being fucked right beside me, the hum of the vibrator like a motor against my ears as i felt the momentum of her husband's thrusts against the sides of the sofa and felt my Owner grow inside my mouth and then inside of me... and this scene changed seating patterns, repeated several times, until it was decided that we go downstairs.

Down to the BDSM playspace with benches, crosses, and hooks in the ceiling.

Kay and her husband are not all too familiar with the scene but were open and curious about it and so my Owner had me get on the bench and started to demonstrate a cane for a few meager strikes and then, of course, what else, the tawse. What breaks apart subspace that "could" happen with the tawse is the focus on words: "Thank you, Sir". There is no subspace when there are words to be spoken; there is no loss of reality and by speaking, you always stay in the moment and in the pain.

All of a sudden, warm and fuzzy and with a heated ass, my Owner picked cunt up from a conversation she was having and placed her directly over the top of me and began tawsing both of our overlapping asses together. i could feel the drive and force of his blows and there was a stark contrast of how hard he was striking her and me; she was taking it harder. And so damn sexy... to feel her trembling against me, her body breaking out in a cold sweat as she offered a "thank you Sir" to my Owner for beating her, against my hair and tickling my face.

There were a few overlapping strikes of the tawse that caught us both and our voices, high pitched and a tad bit pinched, cried out a thanks to my Owner for hurting us. We were panting and grappling for something to grasp onto to make it through the goddamn beating of the tawse... and shared a look afterwards and a laugh out loud for that fucking thing...

sigh
It cannot be conquered.
i am convinced.

The ever-so-curious and unknowing Kay got up on the bench for some light play with a paddle from my Owner and her husband and cunt's Master that put a nice pink shade of heat across her behind and then there was a slight pause as my Owner and i went into our own little world on the floor. We were grinding against one another as the others puttered around upstairs and it was decided that we were both a little tired and had a long day before us and we should probably head back to our safe haven.

We went to sleep in dreamland shortly thereafter with happy smiles on our faces spooned up against one another until the next morning when i had my brains fucked out in a demanding manner :-)

**
Now, thanks to kaya, i will also be undertaking the task of making a tack bra for this weekend. She's going to Spankfest; i'm sure i'll be attending a close-relative place known as 'Tawsetown'.

i must study on how to be a slave with a better service-oriented attitude and how to construct the most efficient tack bra that doesn't cause bleeding from metal spears poking into me. *grimace*

wandering minds want to know...

The orgy- our first- made up of 3 men and 3 girls and 2 1/2 sluts on display. i say 2 1/2 because Kay was curious and tolerant and yet not submissive. But before i get into any dirty details of the long night of sex, loud orgasms, and submission, i'll lend one more forum for a little while. Tease i may, tease i might; i will return before Sunday night with every single happening of our eventful orgy experience.

i get horny just thinking about it!

Question of the day: What is your dead set absolute limit and is this limit the same or much different than a fear of yours?

General open question: Any questions for me? Aside from the preservation of anonymity, i'm willing to splurge information if there's anyone with a wandering mind wondering anything...

together for four years

A happy 4 years to my Master and Owner and Protector,
with love, adoration, and servitude,
your happy little fucktoy

--a gift from cunt and her Master